Hoarding, Hiding, or Helping? When objects go missing
Alzheimer’s disease or another type of dementia, not only effects memory, but because of the changes in the brain, the person can also have difficulty with processing information, organizing thoughts, and logical thinking. This can lead to repetitive and concerning behaviors.
Often, one troubling behavior is when objects go missing. This causes frustration for family members who often confuse hiding objects in the house as hoarding. However, hoarding is a true disorder and may be a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder, and is unrelated to dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. Having the inability to throw away possessions and having overwhelming feelings of embarrassment of all the “possessions” is symptomatic of hoarding disorder.
Hiding objects for a person living with memory loss is a coping mechanism to make some sense of the confusing or an attempt to try to gain some control over their situation. A morning muffin may be found days later under a bed pillow only because the person may have wanted a late night snack, then of course forgets the muffin.
There is logical reason in the person’s mind when hiding the object, but because of the dementia, it makes little sense to us. Be mindful that hiding objects has some purpose for the individual and avoiding scolding and instead showing patience, understanding, and empathy is best.
- Someone who worked in an office may find and hide familiar objects such as pens, papers, mail, stamps, check book and other office supplies in an attempt to fulfill a need to be useful. The person may even see this as an effort to put all the supplies in a safe place and “help” organize the house.
- Make certain knives, scissors, and other dangerous items such as chemicals are locked away.
- Keep valuables and other important items in a place such as jewelry, medications, keys, cell phones, and money out of sight and reach of the person. Seeing keys and money may trigger the person to “go to the store” and leave the house.
- Delusional thinking can be a characteristic of dementia and may cause a person to think that others are stealing from them, thus they have the need to hide certain belongings.
- Locking important items in a rooms or spaces will limit areas for the person to search.
- Check trash containers before taking them out or hide all trash containers, as this is a common place to put objects that the person deems unnecessary.
- If the person begins to look for a specific item, help them look them suggest a coffee break and assure them you will help look later. They will forget the item and this will minimize their anxiety as yours as well.
Developing strategies to manage the need to hide items rather than trying to stop the need will make it safer and more meaningful to the person hiding objects. A person living with memory loss makes every effort in their power to be useful, have purpose, and to have meaning in their life. Although the actions of person’s living with a dementia can be troublesome to us, understanding the reason items are collected and placed in a safe place will foster purpose for the person.
For more information on our Memory Ministry, Memory Cafe, or our Family and Friends Workshops or need tips for supporting persons living with memory loss, please contact Vicky Pitner, Memory Ministry Coordinator at vpitnerfirstumc.org