H.A.L.T. Your “What If’s” Thinking and Boost Your Mental Health
What triggers our thoughts? An event? A sensory experience such as music or aroma’s? Or perhaps an unresolved past experience such as trauma?
Basically, our emotions trigger our thoughts and influence how we interpret and respond to situations. When these emotions evoke negative thoughts, we experience stress, anxiety, worry, or at times, a distorted and catastrophe pattern of thinking, assuming the worst possible outcome. However, when we better understand our emotions and learn how to manage and express our feelings, we can have healthier and meaningful relationships, and improve our overall well-being.
Recently a gentleman spoke to me about his wife’s recent early on-set Alzheimer’s disease diagnosis. He was confused and distressed and asked a pointed question. “What If I can’t do this?”
While “wearing his emotions on his sleeve” the pain and fear that arises with expectations of supporting his wife was obviously overwhelming. But what was he really asking? “What If I fail as a husband? Does that make me a failure?” “What If I fail as a father? Will I be worthless to my children?” Or was he just being a mind reader, and predicting what others would think of him?
When we use “emotional reasoning” and solely rely on our feelings (I feel I will disappoint her, so I am a disappointment) rather than looking at objective facts (I could learn how to support her), we have a distorted interpretation of our belief because it feels true. Challenging those beliefs can help us shift from reacting to responding and develop techniques to calm our thoughts and reframe our thinking. We can then begin to balance our thoughts and validate ourselves.
So how can we begin to H.A.L.T. this pattern of negative thinking? By become attuned to our emotions rather than listening to our triggers, we can practice self-care and begin to understand our unmet needs. Using this simple yet powerful acronym reminds us to take a moment (H.A.L.T.) and assess the situation. Are we reacting to the situation because our basic needs are not being met? By not meeting our physical and emotional needs, negative thinking can take over our lives.
How does H.A.L.T. work? By pausing and asking ourselves are we Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired before reacting to a situation, we can challenge the “What if’s” by focusing on the present and break the cycle of catastrophic thinking, thus better understand and manage our emotions.
When we are Hungry, our blood sugar can drop making us feel foggy, irritable and negative. This also includes thirsty, as dehydration can trigger a head ache, dizziness, fatigue and slower thinking. Dehydration by the way is the leading cause for hospitalization for older adults!
Are we Angry regarding an unresolved situation unrelated to the current situation? Identifying the source of the anger and finding healthy ways to express the anger begins the healing process.
Are we Lonely? Do we feel disconnected or isolated from others? Loneliness and social isolation is at epidemic levels around the world for adults, and sadly for children as well.
Or perhaps, we are just plain Tired. Getting appropriate rest can actually make us feel positive by boosting our serotonin, a mood-regulated transmitter and hormone in our brain. By recognizing when our physical state is fueling our negative mindset and taking action to care for ourselves first, (the old oxygen mask on an airplane analogy) we can begin to support other people and lead a more joyful quality of life.
For more information on our Memory Ministry, Memory Cafe, or our Family and Friends Workshops or need tips for supporting persons living with memory loss, please contact Vicky Pitner, Memory Ministry Coordinator at vpitnerfirstumc.org.