What Really Matters to You? (Rev. Dr. Charley Reeb)
What really matters to you?
Sir Ernest Shackleton was a remarkable explorer during the first part of the 20th century. He wrote about how he and his fellow explorers had to prepare to return home from an expedition to the South Pole. They knew they would have to leave some possessions behind. He was moved by the things his companions considered a priority.
For example, they were quick to leave food and money behind but what they never left behind were pictures of loved ones and letters from home. They always carried those with them.
Today I want to talk about what motivated those explorers to leave behind material things and cling to pictures and letters. It’s the most powerful motivation in the universe – Love.
Love is what motivates us to do what is noble, highest and best. Love is what motivated God to create this world – to create you and me. Love is what motivated God to put skin on, take up a cross and redeem us. “For God so loved the world…”
Of course, those words of scripture describe a love that seems scarce these days. King Duncan reminds us that “the word love is cheapened and misused in so many ways. I mean, after all, ‘Love. It’s What Makes a Subaru a Subaru’ and McDonald’s – ‘I’m Lovin it.’” Really?
Duncan encourages us to reframe the word love by using another word that reflects its profound meaning and power – the word is relationship.
The older I get the more I am convinced that the only things that really matter are love and relationships. Things like money and success pale in comparison to being loved by someone.
I recall having lunch with a prominent and rather famous man in another church I served. He achieved national success as a professional football coach. He opened up and talked to me about his difficult childhood. His parents were never there for him. He was practically raised by a nanny. Even as a child he got the feeling that his parents didn’t really want him. My heart broke as he said to me, “Charley, I would’ve traded all of my trophies, accolades, and success to hear my parents tell me they loved me, really loved me.”
The Apostle Paul’s words ring true:
If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing. -1st Corinthians 13:1-3
If love is not in our hearts, if love is not what is motivating us, if the love of Christ is not behind what we do, then we have completely missed the point of the gospel. We have missed the point of life. We have failed the exam.
The only things in life that really matter are love and relationships.
Take, for example, the relationship we have with those closest to us.
I have a quote from President Teddy Roosevelt that I would like to read to you. It was during an election campaign. He was writing to his sister and he mentioned his wife, Edith. He writes:
“As I went up the White House steps, Edith came to meet me at the door, and I suddenly realized that, after all, no matter what the outcome of the election was, my happiness was assured—that even though my ambition to have the seal of approval put upon my administration might not be gratified, my happiness was assured—for my life with Edith and my children constitutes my happiness.”
He knew what really matters, didn’t he? There is nothing in the world like loving others and being loved!
When was the last time you told those closest to you that you love them? Let me tell you, it’s all that really matters to them. Love them while there’s still time because tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Take time today to do that. Look at your spouse and tell them you love them and then tell them why. Sit down and write a letter to someone special to you and tell them why they are special to you. Letters are deliberate and the recipient will keep it forever.
Some of you need to call that estranged loved one and forgive them. Yes, I know forgiveness is a process, but some of you have been at that process for 95 years. It is time to let go of it. I have learned that the biggest block to spiritual growth and peace is a resentful heart. Don’t do it to yourself. Life is too short.
It breaks my heart when I come across people who will not let go and open themselves to receive love and to give love. An Oscar winning film demonstrated the tragedy of not being open to love. The movie is Ordinary People. It stars Mary Tyler Moore, an affluent suburban woman who lived inside the plastic veneer of her success, shielding the pain and torment going on in her soul. Her husband and son acknowledge their pain and fault and open their lives to each other. Unfortunately, she struggles with whether to let go or hold on, ultimately choosing to stay in bondage to her vanity. She refuses to experience the love and forgiveness her husband and son have to offer.
The title of the movie is very accurate. Ordinary People. They were just ordinary people, like you and me, who refused to open themselves to the love of one another.
Often, we are so busy working ourselves to an early grave so that we forget that what our loved ones want is us. I am around death and dying a lot, so listen closely. At the end of your life, all that is going to matter to you is love and relationships. You won’t care how much money is in your bank account. You won’t care about your accomplishments. You won’t care about not making enough meetings at the office. All you are going to care about are the people you love and the people who love you.
But there is another relationship that we don’t talk about like we should–and that is our relationship with the human family to which we all belong. This includes everyone on this earth.
King Duncan writes that “After the death of author F. Scott Fitzgerald, some of his friends went through many of his papers. What they found was a number of unfinished plots. One of these plots had to do with the members of an estranged family who inherited a large house. In order to take possession of the house, there was one requirement–they had to prove they could live happily in it together.
“We don’t know if they were able to keep the house or not. After all, the story was never finished. However, I do know some families would not make it. Don’t you?
“But think about that for a few moments. Humanity is in much the same situation. We all have inherited a house–this wonderful earth. It’s a big house, but we’ve become a big family. Billions of us. And we’re a very diverse family–Chinese, Japanese, Africans, Indians, Russians, Europeans, North and South Americans. We’ve inherited this wonderful house, and our task is to learn to live in it together. God wants us to live in it together.”
How do you think we are doing on that one? I believe we could do better, don’t you?
We are all children of God. “Red, yellow, black and white, we are all precious in God’s sight.” And last time I checked John 3:16 does not say, “For God so loved the Americans” or “For God so loved people who look like you or think like you.” It doesn’t say, “For God so loved the Democrats” or “For God so loved the Republicans.” It says, “For God so loved the world!”
Erma Bombeck wrote about arriving at the airport and trying to relax before her flight. She was disappointed when and elderly woman sat next to her and said, “I’ll be it’s cold in Chicago.”
Erma was just not in the mood to talk to the lady, so she said in a rather annoyed tone, “Yeah probably.” But the woman continued, “I haven’t been there for almost three years.”
Erma rolled her eyes to herself and said, “Uh-huh.” Then the woman said, “My husband’s body is on this body. We were married for 53 years.”
Erma wrote: “I don’t think I have ever detested myself more than I did at that moment. A desperate human being had turned to a stranger. She didn’t need money, advice, assistance, or expertise. All she needed was someone to listen.”
The lady kept talking as she boarded the plane. Later, as Erma was putting her things in the overhead compartment, she heard the elderly woman say to her seat companion, “I’ll be it’s cold in Chicago.” At that moment Erma prayed, “Please God, let the lady sitting next to her listen.”
Every person we come across is someone for whom Christ died. Every person we come across is a child of God. With that in mind, let us recite these words together:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. -1st Corinthians 13:4-7
There is a world of hurting people out there who need the love of Christ in our hearts. The human family needs our witness. But there is, of course, a third relationship that is more important than all the others—that is our relationship with God.
It is our relationship with God that gives us the grace to love because loving people is not always easy. Take a look:
Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. -1st John 4:11-12
This is why John Wesley said that the goal of the Christian life is to be made perfect in love. The end game to all of this is for God’s love to be made complete in us.
Lewis Pitts was a civil rights attorney in South Carolina. Lewis was involved in poverty law, radical law. He defended people without money or friends. He defended blacks against the Klan and NativeAmericans against the sheriff. He worked out of an old car, living from hand to mouth, death threats were a virtual everyday occurrence.
My colleague Bishop Will Willimon went to college with Lewis. After seeing him on TV one day defending two people who were falsely accused of kidnapping, he called him up and invited him to lunch. There was just one question on Willimon’s mind: “What made him do it?”
So, at lunch, Willimon asked him, “Lewis, what turned you into a radical lawyer with no money, no establishment friends except for me?” And you know how he explained himself? “God is love and we ought to love others.”
“That’s it?” Willimon said.
Then Lewis said, “Look, I’m from Bethune, South Carolina. When you’re a Methodist from Bethune, you don’t have a chance to learn much theology, except what you can pick up in Sunday School. All I learned was God is love and we ought to love others.”
Well, if that is all the theology you learn, that is plenty because that is what our faith boils down to. That is all you really need to know.
That’s why children can be the best theologians. Jesus told us so. He said that unless we can become like children, we can never enter the Kingdom of Heaven. I don’t know about you, but I want to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. What do you think Jesus meant by that? I believe the following story explains why Jesus said what he said.
Bill Harley attended a children’s T-ball game a few years ago with a family friend. On one of the T-ball teams was a young girl named Tracy. Tracy couldn’t hit the ball to save her life, but everyone cheered for her anyway.
During this game, Tracy finally hit the ball. Tracy’s coach began hollering for her to run the bases. She landed on first base, only to be told to keep on running. She rounded second base, and the fans stood to their feet and cheered. With one voice, they were all urging Tracy to head home. But as she neared third base, Tracy noticed an old dog that had wandered onto the field. It was sitting next to the third base line. Moments away from her first home run, Tracy made a big decision. She knelt in the dirt and hugged the dog. Tracy never made it to home plate, but the fans cheered for her anyway. She had made her priorities clear. Love was more important than winning.
Love is more important than winning. Love is more important than anything. “Now, faith, hope and love but the greatest of these is love.” And this I know, for the Bible tells me so.
-I am grateful for King Duncan’s message “What Really Matters” and Will Willimon’s message “Love.” They were helpful resources for me as I prepared this sermon.