Hoarding, Hiding, or Helping? When objects go missing
Living with some type of dementia not only affects a person’s memory, but it also interferes with the ability to process information, organize thoughts, and demonstrate logical thinking. These symptoms can result in actions making no sense and we become frustrated and angry.
When we do not understand symptoms of memory loss, we may conclude the person is purposely trying to make us angry, especially when objects may go missing. In actuality, the person may be trying to be helpful by organizing items. The person may take the objects to their room and family members see this as “hoarding.” However, hoarding is a true disorder and may be a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder, or compulsive shopping disorder and is unrelated to dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. Having the inability to throw away possessions and having overwhelming feelings of embarrassment of all the “possessions” is symptomatic of a hoarding disorder.
Hiding objects for a person living with memory loss is rather a coping mechanism to make some sense of the confusing world they now live in or an attempt to try to gain some control over their situation. A morning muffin may be found days later under a bed pillow only because the person may have wanted a late- night snack, then of course forgets the muffin.
There is logic in the person’s mind when hiding the object, but because of dementia, it makes little sense to us. Be mindful that hiding objects has some purpose for the individual and avoiding scolding and instead showing patience, understanding, and empathy is best.
- Someone who worked in an office may find and hide familiar objects such as pens, papers, mail, stamps, checkbooks and other office supplies attempting to fulfill a need to be useful. The person may even see this as an effort to put all the supplies in a safe place and “help” organize the house.
- Make certain knives, scissors, and other dangerous items such as chemicals are in a safe place. The person may decide to clean and reach a poisonous item.
- Keep valuables and other important items in a place such as jewelry, medications, keys, cell phones, and money out of sight and reach of the person. Seeing keys and money may trigger the person to “go to the store” and leave the house.
- Delusional thinking can be a characteristic of dementia and may cause a person to think that others are stealing from them, thus they have the need to hide certain belongings.
- Locking unused rooms or spaces will limit areas for the person to search.
- Check trash containers before taking them out or hide all trash containers, as this is a common place to put objects that the person deems unnecessary.
- If the person begins to look for a specific item, help them look. After a few minutes suggest a coffee break and assure them you will help search later. They will forget about even searching for the item.
A person living with memory loss makes every effort in their power to be useful, have purpose, and have meaning in their life through their actions. Although the actions are troublesome and even dangerous at times, it is our responsibility to ensure a safe and secure home environment.
If you would like more information on our Memory Ministry, Memory Cafe, or Family and Friends Workshops we offer, please contact Vicky Pitner at vpitner@firstumc.org