Hoarding, Hiding, or Helping? When Objects Go Missing
Living with some type of dementia not only affects the person’s memory but also interferes with the person’s ability to process information, organize thoughts, and demonstrate logical thinking. These challenges can lead to repetitive and concerning behaviors.
One troubling behavior is when objects go missing. This causes frustration for family members, who often confuse hiding objects in the house as hoarding. However, hoarding is a true disorder and may be a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder or compulsive shopping disorder and is unrelated to dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. Having the inability to throw away possessions and having overwhelming feelings of embarrassment about all the “possessions” is symptomatic of hoarding disorder.
Hiding objects for a person living with memory loss is rather a coping mechanism to make some sense of the confusing world they now live in or an attempt to try to gain some control over their situation. A morning muffin may be found days later under a bed pillow only because the person may have wanted a late-night snack, then, of course, forgets the muffin.
There is logical reason in the person’s mind when hiding the object, but because of dementia, it makes little sense to us. Be mindful that hiding objects have some purpose for the individual, and avoiding scolding and instead showing patience, understanding, and empathy is best.
- Someone who works in an office may find and hide familiar objects such as pens, papers, mail, stamps, checkbook, and other office supplies in an attempt to fulfill a need to be useful. The person may even see this as an effort to put all the supplies in a safe place and “help” organize the house.
- Make certain knives, scissors, and other dangerous items, such as chemicals, are locked away.
- Keep valuables and other important items, such as jewelry, medications, keys, cell phones, and money, out of sight and reach of the person. Seeing keys and money may trigger the person to “go to the store” and leave the house.
- Delusional thinking can be a characteristic of dementia and may cause a person to think that others are stealing from them, thus, they have the need to hide certain belongings.
- Locking unused rooms or spaces will limit areas for the person to search.
- Check trash containers before taking them out or hide all trash containers, as this is a common place to put objects that the person deems unnecessary.
- If the person begins to look for a specific item, help them look, then suggest a coffee break and assure them you will help look later. They will forget the item, and this will minimize their anxiety and yours as well.
Developing strategies to manage the behavior rather than stopping it is safer and more meaningful to the person hiding objects. A person living with memory loss makes every effort in their power to be useful, have a purpose, and have meaning in their life through their behaviors. Although the behaviors are troublesome and even dangerous at times, it is our responsibility to ensure a safe and secure home environment.
If you would like more information on our Memory Ministry, Memory Cafe, or the support trainings we offer, please contact Vicky Pitner at vpitner@firstumc.org