Hoarding, Hiding, or Helping? When objects go missing

Vicky Pitner   -  

Dementia or Alzheimer’s disease not only affects memory, but because of the changes in the brain, someone living with memory loss also has difficulty with processing information, organizing thoughts, and logical thinking. This can lead to repetitive and concerning behaviors.

Often, one troubling behavior is when objects go missing. This causes frustration for family members who often confuse hiding objects in the house as hoarding. However, hoarding is a true disorder and may be a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder, or compulsive shopping disorder and is unrelated to dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. Having the inability to throw away possessions and having overwhelming feelings of embarrassment of all the “possessions” is symptomatic of hoarding disorder.

Hiding objects for a person living with memory loss is rather a coping mechanism to make some sense in their confusing world or an attempt to try to gain some control over their situation. A morning muffin may be found days later under a bed pillow only because the person may have wanted a late-night snack, then of course forgets the muffin.

There is logical reason in the person’s mind when hiding the object, but because of dementia, it makes little sense to us. Be mindful that hiding objects has some purpose for the individual and avoiding scolding and instead showing patience, understanding, and empathy is best.

  • Someone who worked in an office may find and hide familiar objects such as pens, papers, mail, stamps, checkbook and other office supplies in an attempt to fulfill a need to be useful. The person may even see this as an effort to put all the supplies in a safe place and “help” organize the house.
  • Make certain knives, scissors, and other dangerous items such as chemicals are locked away.
  • Keep valuables and other important items in a place such as jewelry, medications, keys, cell phones, and money out of sight and reach of the person. Seeing keys and money may trigger the person to “go to the store” and leave the house.
  • Delusional thinking can be a characteristic of dementia and may cause a person to think that others are stealing from them, thus they have the need to hide certain belongings.
  • Locking unused rooms or spaces will limit areas for the person to search.
  • Check trash containers before taking them out or hide all trash containers, as this is a common place to put objects that the person deems unnecessary.
  • If the person begins to look for a specific item, help them look, then suggest a coffee break and assure them you will help look later. They will forget the item and this will minimize their anxiety and yours as well.

Developing strategies to manage the behavior rather than stopping is safer and more meaningful to the person hiding objects. A person living with memory loss makes every effort in their power to be useful, have purpose, and have meaning in their life through their behaviors. Although the behaviors are troublesome and even dangerous at times, it is our responsibility to ensure a safe and secure home environment.

For support in practical caregiving strategies or information on our Memory Ministry, Memory Café, or Virtual Caregivers Support Group, please contact Vicky at vpitner@firstumc.org